If you are in a co-parenting relationship with your former partner, clear lines of communication are absolutely key, says one expat partner who kindly shared her personal story.
Drifting apart
When Jenny arrived with her ex-husband Peter and their nine-year-old son in Asia four years ago, she recalls that they all adjusted at different speeds. Eventually everyone seemed to settle into a new life but there was something very different about their new life. “We each had our own social outlets, our own friends and our own activities. There was zero overlap. Looking back now, I can see that Peter and I began to drift apart from the very start,” says Jenny.
Stay or go?
“As I followed Peter abroad for his career, initially I wasn’t sure what I should do. Some friends and family members still don’t understand why I chose to stay. However, our son was thriving in a great international school and I knew he didn’t want to live 10,000 miles away from his father. In the beginning, it was very hard to have discussions and look each other in the eye. But Peter and I agreed that we would do our best to be co-parents and remain overseas…”
Here and now
“It definitely requires very clear lines of communication but also compassion and understanding. Our son’s happiness is always at the forefront of our minds but I don’t think I have ‘sacrificed’ anything. I have found new opportunities and a nice network of friends,” says Jenny, who balances online work with studies that she commenced before the breakup. “In terms of finances, I have my own income, however Peter’s company supports our son’s tuition. I’m also still covered by Peter’s insurance.”
What’s next?
“There is still an element of uncertainty regarding the future, whenever Peter’s assignment here ends. If he were to be offered another international posting, obviously we will have to sit down and discuss the matter. But the way I look at it is – we would have done that anyway.”
* Names changed at request of interviewee
This article was originally published for the thousands of expat partners that Global Connection supports around the globe. It is reproduced here in its original form.
