After experiencing five international relocations, expat partner Angelique Pascaud has learned that moving means starting from scratch – every single time.
Remote beginnings
“Before our daughter was born, my husband and I relocated to Ameke Ngwo in Nigeria. It was a very remote posting and very challenging in ways – but I’m grateful for that experience. It gave us a reference point for all future assignments!” says Angelique, now a resident of Ljubljana. “It’s true you get better at packing up and unpacking (when your container arrives). But to feel at home? To make friends? To figure out what you will do? That always takes time, no matter where you go.”
Mindful of expectations
“As a European family we’ve moved to Africa, Asia-Pacific and South America. In each case, we expected the culture and lifestyle to be completely different so we were braced for change. It came as a surprise when I struggled to adapt in Budapest. As it’s a European capital, I anticipated an easy transition. But simple tasks proved difficult (mainly due to the language barrier). The international community there is also spread out, so I lacked the day-to-day connectivity I’d enjoyed elsewhere. By comparison, you can arrive in Port Moresby on a Monday and feel like you’re part of a vibrant community by Friday!”
Taking the initiative
How did she turn things around in Hungary? “I didn’t give up. I said yes to all invitations, and extended my own – organising hikes and picnics. I joined the PTA and volunteered; I went to events even if they weren’t my cup of tea. A community doesn’t always get handed to you on a plate.” Despite her proactive mindset, Angelique still values workshops such as The Cycles of Change (run by Global Connection), which help partners adapt to transitions. “I’d happily do this workshop every time we move because I’m always a different person, and my daughter – now nearly 16 – is a different age, so our needs and outlooks shift.”
Letting go gracefully
“And no matter how many times you relocate, goodbyes remain difficult. You build up a new life and establish a close crew of friends then you have to leave – that’s how it goes! I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Budapest but when we visited Ljubljana on a look-see, we saw it was beautifully green and picturesque, and we were very happy to come here. Still, I was more mindful of my expectations, and more accepting of the disruption to come – because by now I know, you start from zero every time!”
Photos: Angelique with her husband and daughter
