“I didn’t anticipate that it would be so hard to socialise and meet people in Seoul,” admits expat partner Denise Vainio. “But volunteering at my children’s school has given me a much needed sense of community.”
A complete contrast
Now in her third year of expat life in Seoul, Denise admits the move to the South Korean capital was not an easy adjustment. The family relocated from Manila, their hometown, but had previously lived in Singapore. “Singapore is very family-friendly and predominantly English-speaking, so there wasn’t even a language barrier,” says Denise, a mother of three, now aged 13, 9 and 6. “Whenever I went out, I could chat with anyone I met in English – even short interactions made me feel more interconnected with the place.”
Lost in translation
By contrast, relocating to Seoul was more challenging – even driving required adjustment. “All the street signs are written in Korean, so I just had to fully trust my navigation apps,” says Denise. “In the first few weeks, I would easily spend two hours or more at the supermarket, translating all the labels, and trying to figure out what I needed,” she recalls. Denise did attempt to learn Korean but never got beyond basic greetings. While translation apps are helpful, she has found that approaching strangers with a phone screen isn’t always well-received.
Feeling of fulfilment
Realising she needed to overcome a creeping sense of isolation, Denise began volunteering as a homeroom parent – similar to a teacher’s assistant – and soon became involved in wider school events, from the annual international food fair to Christmas and Halloween celebrations. “It’s been really great for me. It doesn’t just keep me busy – I feel productive, more fulfilled and sociable, too.” Through this involvement, she has built close friendships with parents from Vietnam, Israel and the USA. Social gatherings often revolve around food, with each host preparing dishes from their home country – Denise always enjoys treating guests to her family’s Filipino favourites: chicken adobo, lechon liempo (roast pork belly) and Sinigang (tamarind stew).
Digital connections
Denise describes herself as naturally introverted, so putting herself forward did not come easily. Yet by consistently showing up at school events and accepting or issuing invitations, Seoul feels more like home – even if sometimes she still needs help. “In the Itaewon neighbourhood, we have a local KakaoTalk network – it’s like a helpline for clueless expats!” she says. “Someone can write, ‘Help! What’s the best dentist in Itaewon?’ and you’ll get a quick answer!”
Photo: Denise and her family in Namsan Park, Seoul
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