Some male expat partners don’t like to admit it when they’re depressed and/or homesick, but bottling up emotions and denying true feelings can be damaging for everyone and jeopardise the assignment.
Rage against the assignment
When a male expat partner angrily rejected an invitation to discuss his support needs with us, one of our consultants wondered if there was something troubling him. Indeed, he would later admit that he was suffering from extreme homesickness but, for many months, had been in denial about his emotions. Having initially believed that his kids and wife might suffer from homesickness, but that he would not, he had started to resent the situation. The anger and bitterness he displayed were a way of masking the homesickness he was experiencing and the insecurity that he felt about being unable to adjust to his new environment.
The strong, silent types
Over the last 30 years, Global Connection has supported an increasing number of male expat partners. Some have spoken to us or a coach about homesickness they experienced. But it’s very likely that many others have kept challenging emotions bottled up. Alas, traditional gender roles and societal expectations have influenced many men to adhere to the stereotype of being strong, stoic, and unemotional. As one man from Latin America told us: “We have this culture of machismo in my home country. When I became an expat partner, I felt insecure and unsure of my role as the non-working partner even though there were opportunities for me in my host country, too – I just couldn’t see them at first.”
Support means problem-solving
For many months this male partner experienced homesickness and, as a result of his unhappiness, he viewed his host country very negatively. But he eventually found his feet – he took up a sport, which helped him to stay fit and make new friends; he found a volunteering role as well as a paid part-time job. He also greatly appreciated being given an opportunity to chat about his needs with a Global Connection consultant and, at a later stage, discuss his plans with a coach. When he was homesick, and yearning for the life he had left behind, he doubted there was a solution. But with the help of partner support, he figured out how he could adapt. He now looks back at the decision to leave his home country with zero regrets.
