When trying to figure out what we want to do in our host country, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, or even ‘paralysed’, when it comes to making a choice. So what should you do, when you are crippled by indecision?
Stuck in a rut
So you found a house in a nice neighbourhood; the kids seem to be settling into school and your partner is relishing his new role. It’s just down to you to, well, you know, get a life. You have a multitude of ideas bouncing around your head. It’s not that you are short of options. But for some reason you just can’t decide what to do. So… you do nothing.
Overthinking everything
“A world of choices can be overwhelming, especially when you are in a new culture and feeling unsure of yourself. You might feel stuck and unable to act. On top of that you’re overthinking everything and feeling guilty about your inaction. This can be harmful because, when you feel paralysed, you can’t adapt or integrate with a new culture,” says coach Hannah Böhmer.
Burden of perfection
“At the heart of such indecision is a fear: ‘What if I make the wrong choice?’ If you want everything to be perfect, you are putting too much pressure on yourself. So, for starters, you need to relieve yourself of this burden. Accept that there will be bumps on the road ahead. Adjusting to a new culture and building a new life will always be a process of trial and error. And what’s the worst that can happen anyway? If you try something only to realise that you don’t care for it, just try something else!”
Simplify your choices
“To help you make a decision, try to simplify the choices as much as you can. Make a list of your wishes / objectives. Now prioritise that list. What is important? What is urgent? What can wait? Perhaps you are feeling isolated (very common for expat partners in this situation), so the most important item on your list could be finding ways to interact with others in your community. Joining a class, where you can meet people and learn something new, might be the ideal choice for you,” says Hannah. “If you are still struggling to ‘commit’ to something, another tactic is to give yourself a deadline. It’s a great way to motivate yourself.”
This article was originally published for the thousands of expat partners that Global Connection supports around the globe. It is reproduced here in its original form.
